Yesterday I wrote about getting back to flowing like a river (metaphorically.) There were challenges in my day, but I think I made some progress.
Then today I read this poem by Danna Faulds called “Allow.” It is exactly what I needed to hear:
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream, and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in—
the wild with the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.
I had some moments yesterday when I felt that I was an alien just visiting this planet. I had moments where I lacked confidence or wondered how I am being perceived.
I do not like when doubt creeps in.
But then my wonderful writing group grounded me back. It is so wonderful to have friends, colleagues, and partners in the writing and teaching life that know me. We speak the same language. God blessed me with them and I am forever grateful.
I move on with allowing myself to be who I am — in the classroom, on the page, as a musician, as a wife, a sister, an aunt. It is easy to be swayed by those who live by fear. But living authentically is all I’ve ever really wanted.
I start again. Today.