Love when that happens.
I have started my journal purge, treading gently in with the one I grabbed first — it is from summer/fall 1998. I found in there a poem I have been looking for — one that I know had an influence on me back in the day, but I couldn’t remember anything about it except the author — e.e. cummings. He was my favorite poet when I was a teenager because of his erratic use of punctuation and word mixes that thrilled me inside somehow, even as the nuns kept droaning about the “goat-footed balloon man.” cummings was my man!
This poem, “lifted from the no,” is an overt spiritual poem, and that is probably why we don’t hear it much. I came upon this poem when I attended a Youth of Unity conference at Unity Village. I was a sponsor for our church’s youth group, and this was an event we attended every year. Much of who I have become today is credited back to that time with Y.O.U.
I was in the summer of a lot of grief over the loss of my father and Jim’s grandmother. Most of the time I just felt like I was moving through mud. The chance to be back at Unity Village in Missouri was an opportunity just to think about God in my life. The poem seems to sum up everything that happened there that year, and for that I am humbly grateful. My birthday occurred during the week I was there, and I felt I was pointed in the right direction. Within a year I would be in school, starting my journey to becoming a teacher.
Here is the poem:
lifted from no
by e.e. cummings
I thank you God for this most amazing day:
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and
a blue true dream of sky; and for every —
thing which is natural which is infinite
which is yes (i who have died am alive
again today, and this is the sun’s birthday;
this is the birthday of life and love and
wings: and of the gay great happening
illimitably earth) how should tasting, touching,
hearing, seeing, breathing any — lifted from
the no of all nothing — human merely
being doubt unimaginably you!
(now the ears of my ears awake and now
the eyes of my eyes are opened)
After breathing in this poem again over and over the past couple of days, I decided I wanted to pair a song with it. I came upon a love song that is overlooked — one that grinds with a passion not often heard. The lyrics alone speak of a love so deep and eternal, nothing can ever kill it.
If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you.
Mountains crumble to the sea
There would still be you and me.
When I look at this journal there is much there I do not want to remember. But what I do love about revisiting these pages is that I know I’ve made it through — even when the sun refused to shine, even when the mountains crumbled before me. God and Jim have been by my side.
With that I say, Thank You.