(115) Voice in the Wilderness

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Came home feeling totally beat up and exhausted last night, after two extremely busy weeks.  My creative and musical life has been put on hold.  I have been overwhelmed and disgusted and sometimes just too tired to care. I slept over ten hours last night.  Feel better today, and need this time to start to heal my creative soul. I found a poem I wrote on December 28, 2014 called “Tough Hope.”  It was inspired by reading the survival story Hatchet by Gary Paulsen with my students, and my personal reading of John Gatto’s book Weapons of Mass Instruction.  It is all I have to offer today while I get my bearings.

Spanish red at dusk

humid evening

back from a brisk walk

softness in the baby blue sky

dotted-swiss pink clouds

burgundy and goldenrod orchids

about to say goodbye

strings of colorful lights create a garland

in the lanai across the way

fountain sounds loud — a waterfall tonight

motorcycle in the distance

kids skateboarding in the streets

“Do a 360”

ducks hunkered down in the bone dry

grass, pondside

enough swimming today

now it’s time to say goodbye

to all it was

Because today was a day

of questioning

of looking at everything

(or so it seemed)

straight in the eye.

What is truth?

What can change?

What is my role in this holy hell mess?

It isn’t what people tell me it is

it is something more

something I have been primed for in my

open school of life

I’ve seen all sides

felt the joy of independent learning

the straight-jacket of the meaningless

A voice inside tells me

Be the best teacher you can be

Be tough.

Provide confidence

and strength

and stepping stones

and real work.

Everyone says “engage”

but that can mean “keep ’em busy.”

Engaged minds is what I’m all about

solid direction

and conviction.

My voice in the wilderness saying

Think!

What do you think?

What do you see?

What is your contribution?

Ignore the foolbirds.

Stay away from the moose.

Be wise.

Hold your breath and dive.

Survive.

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