(82) Life is Impossible

Woke from an after work nap and began wondering what to write about, when I happened upon a Facebook post by one of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott. She starts out “Life is impossible,” and seriously, I couldn’t agree more.

I know, I know –I wrote that gorgeous post about the beach yesterday.  It appears I should have it all together, but I don’t.

I have 7 male students that deeply try my patience every single day.  Among them: one who swings from manic to tears, one who bounces around like Tigger the Tiger, one who is extremely oppositional, one who is a major drama queen, and one who, if not on meds, will continually shout out and perform for the others, never doing a lick of work. So imagine my delight today when I saw that 6 out of the 7 were absent. Perhaps I had died and gone to heaven? No. Because as Anne says, life is impossible. The other students just filled in the void. They are so used to the chaos created by these miscreants, they had to compensate. Truly, not as bad, but sheesh. Can I get some peace?

Last week was about random ideas and I loved that! Of course, it didn’t take me long to figure out that my entire blog is about random ideas. Imagine my dismay this week when I went to the Creative Whack Pack and I pulled a card that suggested I conform. Me? Conform? Impossible!

I knew what to do with randomness, but I don’t know what to do with conformity.

Life feels impossible right now because I keep being pulled deeper into a state of mind I don’t want to be in, yet somehow no amount of anything pulls me out for any real amount of time. What am I resisting? I don’t even know.

Perhaps just the present moment.

Anne said life is impossible, but shortly after she also said love never fails. She’s right. I know I love those bouncy loud drama-stricken goofy boys. I know I will welcome them and their craziness back when they return. I will seek to have them conform so we all can learn something. And when they don’t, I will love them anyway.

The impossible thing about life is knowing that love truly does not ever fail. I am resistant to that message, the same one I’ve heard forever, even though I’ve had proof over and over.

So this week, I conform to the message I most need to hear, this one from A Course In Miracles: One Problem (lack of love). One Solution (love).

Life may be impossible, but love never is.

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