(33) Hello, Meditation

Yesterday I ranted on this blog far more than I wish I would have.  A friend commented, hoping that I wasn’t getting an ulcer.

No, nothing like that.

Today I revisited Pema’s books, specifically the section on handling chaos, and something important jumped out at me. Somehow yesterday when I was reading about ceasing the struggle, I was missing the key point.  My eyes were glazing right over it.  But today it was clear:

Meditation practice is how we stop fighting with ourselves, how we stop struggling with circumstances, emotions, and moods.

Meditation.  If I had meditated before writing that blog, it would have been quite different.  I would have been more in line with the 5 Questions, and more in line with the person I want to be.

That being said, I assure you I pulled out my meditation cushion today and spent 12 minutes there.  My monkey mind was going wild.  I have the Insight Meditation app on my iPad, and I use it to time myself and to document with a short journal entry.  My last entry?  June 10, 2014.

Pitiful.

What do I need to learn to love next?  Getting my butt on the cushion.  Today I couldn’t count backwards from 4 without losing focus by 3.  I hope to change that over time.  My chaos and ranting is directly related to my lack of true focus.  I know from past experience that meditation can make all the difference.  This past weekend was a gripping reminder of that fact. I don’t want that kind of distraction any more. I will cease the struggle — the proven way!

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