Yesterday I ranted on this blog far more than I wish I would have. A friend commented, hoping that I wasn’t getting an ulcer.
No, nothing like that.
Today I revisited Pema’s books, specifically the section on handling chaos, and something important jumped out at me. Somehow yesterday when I was reading about ceasing the struggle, I was missing the key point. My eyes were glazing right over it. But today it was clear:
Meditation practice is how we stop fighting with ourselves, how we stop struggling with circumstances, emotions, and moods.
Meditation. If I had meditated before writing that blog, it would have been quite different. I would have been more in line with the 5 Questions, and more in line with the person I want to be.
That being said, I assure you I pulled out my meditation cushion today and spent 12 minutes there. My monkey mind was going wild. I have the Insight Meditation app on my iPad, and I use it to time myself and to document with a short journal entry. My last entry? June 10, 2014.
What do I need to learn to love next? Getting my butt on the cushion. Today I couldn’t count backwards from 4 without losing focus by 3. I hope to change that over time. My chaos and ranting is directly related to my lack of true focus. I know from past experience that meditation can make all the difference. This past weekend was a gripping reminder of that fact. I don’t want that kind of distraction any more. I will cease the struggle — the proven way!